What Does It Take To Be An Advice Column Writer?

"I guess I shouldn't have used the word "neuter" in that last report."


For years I’ve read various advice columns in the newspapers. Dear Abby is one that immediately comes to mind.  I’ve often wondered what it would take to write one myself.  After all, I’ve been around long enough to offer advice to the lovelorn.  In fact, I’ve been around long enough to offer advice on just about anything. 

Somewhere out there in Internet land are people in need of advice. So I’ve decided to offer my expert advice on anything that’s gnawing at your mind.  Unless you’re in the woods and some animal is doing the gnawing. Can’t help ya there.  

For instance, the other day I said the best way to avoid divorce is not to get married.  Sounds pretty logical to me.   

So I’m looking for some challenging questions which may be bugging you and you simply do not have the time to write to Dear Abby,  or your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend simply can’t be bothered.   

This service, of course, is absolutely free, so whatever advice I pass on to you I do so with no guarantees.  Hey, whadda want for nothing anyhow?  

At great risk, I am staking my reputation on giving out good sane advice.  

(actually I’m not really going to give anyone good sane advice. It’s just a cheap ploy to use you people for the sake of a good chance to use humor in place of seriousness.  Hey, if ya want a serious answer, go see a shrink)  

Any of you stupid enough to actually ask me a question will find your answer one day a week in a special MisfitWisdom Advisor Blog, unless you happen to be so clueless that you ask me something like, “What is the meaning of life?”  At which time I would simply respond, “There is no meaning to “Life” because they only publish the magazine a few times a year.”  

(sorry, but that’s the kinda stuff I do)  

Just today, someone in my travels asked me if I knew the secret to successfully losing weight.  With my expertise on dieting, I was able to advise them to simply stop eating.  Once again, a sincere and logical conclusion.  

So, if there are any of you with burning questions, simply drop me a line stating your concern in the “comments” section of the MisfitWisdom blog and I will do my best to answer you post haste.  

 (I’ve been waiting for a long time to use that word, “post-haste” and finally got to use it)  

In the event no one responds to my offer, I’ll just go back to my usual locations and scribble down my advice to people as I’ve done in the past with much success.  

On various restroom walls.  

Works for me. 

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to What Does It Take To Be An Advice Column Writer?

  1. Odoriferous says:

    Dear Mr. Misfit: The last several nights I have been visited by a skunk (not the neighbor, but the black with white stripe smelly kind). Well, last night I looked out and saw the skunk going to my neighbor’s house. But as the skunk was approaching their house they took a water hose and redirected it to MY HOUSE. This could raise quite a stink. What should I do?

    • misfit120 says:

      Move. (sorry this took me so long to respond (5 years) but only because hardly anyone EVER leaves comments.) But, hey, at least I did respond. ND…I hope you did take my advice and move.

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