If You’re A Male, Happy, and Married….You Could Be Getting Divorced Soon.

"I give you a damn inch Ralph and you take a yard...now put down that axe before you hurt yourself."

Last week I wrote about how women are always right and men are always wrong even if there’s not a woman around to tell him that he’s wrong.

Now a news item by “Associated Newspapers Ltd.” has even more bad news if you’re a married man and happy.  You’re doomed. 

It seems that a study conducted by a group of researchers points to the fact that there exists a “happiness gap” between married men and women. As if we didn’t have enough bullshit to worry about.  Someone’s gotta stop these researchers from conducting research because, in my opinion, “they’re” the ones who are causing all of the problems by printing that stuff.  I was completely happy until I read that article. 

(I destroyed it before my other half could see it…heh heh…I’m not stupid)

Anyhow, it seems that the bigger the differences between spouses “satisfaction levels” the greater the risk of a break up. If your spouse is overloaded with housework while you vege in front of the TV……you’re screwed.  If your background is much different from your spouses, say for instance like you were a hit man for the mob and she was a distant relative of Elliot Ness….you’re screwed.  Most importantly, if your salary is higher than hers…..boy are you screwed.

On the other side of the coin. If both of you have similar backgrounds, practice the same religion, chip in with the housework or are retired, there’s a good chance you’re not screwed.  Otherwise……as I said earlier….you “are” screwed.

So what the hell does all this mean?  It basically means that if you fall into the category of “husband slug” you’d better start changing your ways or it’s divorce court for you fella.

MisfitWisdom’s suggestion is that you immediately offer to take on some responsibility with the housework.  Like dusting the TV remote, shaking out the stray leaves in the backyard hammock before you lie in it, spreading out the new box of cat litter before she cleans it and most of all, helping her drag out the vacuum cleaner before she vacuums. This should show her you actually care and are willing to chip in.

If there are differences in religion, perhaps a mutual discussion on switching to a neutral religion might be useful.  Something that would not offend either of you, such as “sun worship” or even “American Idol” worship.  Seems like safe ground to me.

Finally, if both of you are retired, and have a limited income, you’re basically on the safe side.  Unless of course one of you earns more than the other or has a retirement plan.  In that case, the most simplest plan to avoid any conflict which may lead to divorce, is to secretly devise a plan to successfully dispose of her body thereby eliminating any conflicts with regard to finances.

If that last option appeals to you guys, forget the other options about helping around the house.  It won’t be necessary.

And you’ll be much happier.  Screw those researchers.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to If You’re A Male, Happy, and Married….You Could Be Getting Divorced Soon.

  1. Joseph says:

    Great article, makes me want to write to.. just dropping by came home from work, ill read the other posts too when i wake up

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s