They’re Coming To Take Me Away….Verrrrrry Soon.

"WHAT!"

(sigh)…………..Another sign that things are getting way out of hand…….I had to give my first “Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award” to the producers at New Line Cinema.  I absolutely thought for sure that it would go to Sarah Palin but, alas, she has been relatively quiet for the past few days.  Did somebody gag her?  Anybody?  Hmmmm, I guess not.  Somebody would have stepped forward by now, John McCain, Rham Emanuel, the crew from Family Guy. 

 Pleeeeeeeease!!!!  Anybody!!!!!   

Guess not.  Oh well, one can only hope.  It’s her loss and New Line Cinema’s gain. 

So, you ask yourself.  What exactly did New Line Cinema do to deserve such an honor from MisfitWisdom. What on earth did they do to deserve such a prestigious honor?  The very first “Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award.  Well I’ll tell ya.

It seems that New Line Cinema is going to make the cartoon character Speedy Gonzales more politically correct.  For those of you in shock, I’ll repeat it louder.  SPEEDY GONZALES IS GOING TO BE MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT!!!!!! 

I know, your next question is, “But Misfit, what’s wrong with Speedy Gonzales now?”

Well boys and girls, it seems that Speedy, like Heidi Montag, needs a makeover so that he fits into today’s hyper overly sensitive off the F*****G wall politically correct society. No, he’s NOT getting a male enhancement procedure.  Sorry Heidi fans.  He’s going to be more appealing to those overly sensitive people who think that Speedy has been insensitive to certain ethnic groups and may appear to be a racist.

OMG!  (Oh My God for those of you who are alphabet/computer lingo/shorthand/ impaired)  Oops, was I just being insensitive? 

Not only that, but Speedy’s pal “Slowpoke Rodriguez” is also going to apparently get a makeover.  NO, they’re not going to make him faster so that he’s “Real Fast Rodriguez” but they’re going to make sure he is also not stereotyping ethnic groups as well. 

IT’S SPREADING!!!!!   IT’S SPREADING!!!  Political correctiveness is taking over the world I tell ya!!!!   RUN!!!   Hide!!!  We’re all doomed I tell ya!  DOOMED!!!

Ok, now that that’s outta my system, let’s continue. 

George Lopez will be the voice of the “new” Speedy Gonzales. “Verrrrrrrrrrrrrry Funny.”  ( I stole that from Lopez’s TV commercials)

Mrs. Lopez, better known as “Ann” to her husband was quoted as saying,  “We wanted to make sure that it was not the Speedy of the 1950’s—the racist Speedy.  Speedy’s going to be a misunderstood boy who comes from a family that works in a very meticulous setting, and he’s a little too fast for what they do.  He makes a mess of that.  So he has to go out in the world to find out what he’s good at.”

Hmmm, sounds like me as a child, except I still haven’t found what I’m good at other than aimlessly writing this blog that only seven people read on a daily basis.

Let’s see.  What can a fast mouse that speaks with an accent find out there in the world to do?  Hmmmmmm. 

Now my own opinion is that he could be a spokesman for Taco Bell but then I’d be considered a racist for suggesting that.  Or, he could be the mascot for Domino’s Pizza hawking their fast delivery service.  “Pizza From Domino’s Delivered As Fast As Speedy Gonzales.”  (not responsible for missing pepperonis when delivered)

Disclaimer: For those of you overly sensitive individuals who think I am a racist,  I have never raced a car….um….wait a second here….. oh, RACIST!  I get it now.  No, I’m not a racist but I think you have to have a sense of humor about all of this.  Like I said in one of my past blogs, I’m Italian and my ethnic background has been splattered all over the place depicting us as hit men and Wops and Dagos.  I think it’s kinda funny.  WHY?  Because……….now get ready for this…………..because………..

I DON’T GET ALL FREAKIN BENT OUTTA SHAPE AT STUPID NONSENSE LIKE CHANGIN’ HOW SPEEDY GONZALES HAS BEEN PORTRAYED IN CARTOONS FOR SIXTY GAZILLION CARTOON YEARS…..THAT’S WHY!!!!!   Geeesh!

Lets keep in mind that another cartoon character, Pepe Le Pew, who is a skunk, smells when he gets upset is………………FRENCH!!!  Do ya see the THEM getting all upset because the damn skunk speaks with a French accent?  Somethin’ stinkith in our political correctiveness world I thinkith.  Forsooth fair maiden……fear not……the politically corrective police will slay these offenders. 

(popping my first tranquilizer)

Don’t you think we’re all becoming way too sensitive?  Our entire political system is falling apart at the seams in Washington and all we can come up with is fixing what’s wrong with Speedy Gonzales!!!!! No wonder the world’s coming to an end in 2012.  It’s all Speedy Gonzales fault.  Probably the Mayan’s too because when the world doesn’t end in 2012 archeoligists will discover, upon further research in the Mayan ruins, a hygrogliphic that says, “Ha Ha, it was all a joke just to see if you guys had a sense of humor.”  Boy will those guys be pissed.

Ok, Ok, I’m calming down.  (popping another tranquilizer)

Let’s look at this seriously folks.  Suppose all of us were offended by something at any given time.  Let’s take cartoons, because we’re on that subject.  Let’s see if we can find offense in the following cartoons and get all bent out of shape.

(anyone who easily gets bent out of shape, do not continue to read this blog)

Sylvester The Cat talks with a lisp.  Oops…politically incorrect. Send him to a speech therapist quick. And for God’s sakes teach him to say “meow” for a change and use the damn litter box like all other normal cats do.

Blondie continues to wear those tight fitting outfits even though she’s now, according to my calculations, at least 85.  Oops, politically incorrect according to AARP. For God’s sake dress her like the rest of us seniors. (Did you ever notice how Blondie and Dagwood never age but their kids do.  And what’s with the dog, she still looks the same too)

We’ve touched on the fact that Donald Duck and his entire family of ducks do NOT wear any pants.  Oops, politically incorrect, um…unless you belong to a nudist duck colony. I think “Men’s Warehouse” could make a buck here somehow.

How about Mickey Mouse.  Oops, just his first name is obviously politically incorrect.  Millions of Irish guys named “Mickey” have a legitimate case here.  Change his damn name to Marvin or something.

(Archie Bunker, where are ya when I need ya)

Foghorn Leghorn obviously is a take on what a blowhard Senator in Washington should look like in a cartoon.  I think there’s one also in the “Shoe” cartoon strip.  Oops, politically incorrect.  We all know Senator’s are NOT blowhards.  Their only concern is the welfare and prosperity of themselves…..um….I meant their constituents.  (snicker)

Then there’s Elmer Fudd.  Oops, politically incorrect.  Now THIS one’s really politically incorrect.  The nerve of those insensitive racist cartoon strip drawing people.  How dare them depict Dick Cheney with a gun in the cartoon form of Elmer Fudd.  Um, wait a minute here…..that might not be incorrect politically.

So you see boys and girls, we can all find something that’s politically incorrect, racist, offending, retarded,……oops, strike that last word, don’t want to offend Sarah or anybody else.   Can I still use that word if I use it in a sentence like, um…….”I retarded the growth of my Petunia plant because I wanted it to be smaller?”   I’m not sure, better check with Sarah on that.

I think I must be molded out of a different die cast.  I’m not getting all bent out of shape over all of this stuff.  I like people of all different ethnic backgrounds, religions, colors, whatever.  I find humor in a lot of things which makes living, in today’s hyper sensitive society, more tolerable. We all need to take a deep breath, (for those of you super hyper sensitive and stressed out, a joint will do) and look at things in a different perspective.  Like…….

“IT’S A F******G CARTOON!!!!!!

“Honey,……..can I have another freakin tranquilizer now?”

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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4 Responses to They’re Coming To Take Me Away….Verrrrrry Soon.

  1. Robin says:

    I traded a black car in for a light brown pickup truck. I hope I’m not a racist for doing that… it’s a light-skinned brown truck. And it doesn’t use an Afro-American accent unless it wants to. Oh noes! Am I allowed to say that?

    • misfit120 says:

      Don’t feel bad Robin, I have a Red Pickup and after writing all my anti-government blogs I might be making an appearance before the House Un-American Activities Committee for being a RED and sympathetic to Russians. Oops, can I say that. Too late…I just did.

    • misfit120 says:

      Robin,

      Thank’s for the comment

      I left a reply for you in my blog comments section. Hmmmm, I guess that now means I have 8 people reading my blog each day. 5 censors, my other half, myself for editing purposes and you. Hope you continue to follow my daily antics.

      Thanks Again,

      Misfit aka (Dick)

      Click here for my daily blog.https://misfit120.wordpress.com

  2. Matt says:

    Excellent blog about Speedy. I thought I was the only crazy cartoon fan who got upset about and wrote a blog about it. I don’t really get bothered by too many things but when they attack the silly things like cartoons I just get mad. Its freaking ridiculous.

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