Yes, if you’re a stripper in a club, and you get laid off, you can collect unemployment benefits. Um, we’re talkin’ about strippers that are usually females who take their clothes off usually while pole dancing or something and not the kind of strippers that one would hire to strip paint off of your house or something.
Or in a strip club…..which would be kind of ironic if ya think about it.
Unless of course you actually want to hire a female stripper to remove old paint off the side of your house while you sit there and watch. Which is entirely possible I suppose, but rather kinky.
Considering stripping paint off of the side of my own house is a chore I absolutely dread, I might consider such an option. As might 99.9 percent of the male population.
“Hey Roxanne, ya missed a bit of paint over there in the upper right hand corner. Yeah…that’s it….yep….now reach up and wiggle your…um….er…..reach up and use your hand to get that one spot and be careful not to stretch too much. Ya might lose some of those one dollar bills the other neighborhood guys stuffed into your bra and panties as you were climbing the ladder.”
The ruling that strippers can now collect unemployment benefits stems from a Kansas Supreme Court ruling that states because strip clubs make strippers employees and not independent contractors, they should be eligible to collect benefits.
The strip club owners disputed that ruling saying that they were just renting the strippers “space.”
Hmmmm…..what “space? “ The space her body takes up perhaps?
Obviously the Supreme Court didn’t buy that argument. Most likely because many of the Supreme Court justices, upon attending strip club performances, never noticed any “space for rent” signs anywhere on the stage the strippers were performing on.
Then again, when strippers are performing on stage with a pole dancing routine who in their right mind is going to notice anything other than that neat pole. Especially firemen. You know how they love sliding down poles.
For a refreshing moment to educate you on pole dancing, here’s a novel instructional video. (warning, contains cartoon characters, cartoon boobs, and a cartoon pervert….but, with kind of a “yuletide” aspect to soften things up a bit)
(caution…..this cartoon video may be to risqué for some puritan or sex police viewers)
Then, there was this statement by the strippers attorney:
“The court relied almost entirely on the fact that we had some house rules which were requested by the dancers. They were designed to keep everything legal,” said an attorney for the dancer. “And the court relied on that fact alone to say we had control over them and that made them employees.”
Ohhhh. HOUSE RULES. Yeah, like always put the toilet seat down. (very important if you’re a guy watching a stripper and have to use the restroom) And, never on any occasion EVER attempt to touch a stripper’s body while she is performing. This is a standard no no at strip clubs. Unless you’re stuffing dollar bills into her bra or panties. Along with your telephone number.
“Hey, my name is Festus. I wuz just visitin’ from mah hometown of “Ashland,” and we folks down there were lookin’ fer a nice ass to feature on our “Welcome To Ashland” sign. Ah stuck a 2o dollar bill into yer panties and thars more where that came from if you wanna be on our official “Welcome to Ashland” ass sign. And you can bring yer pole with ya if you want to. Although we don’t have any Polish people in Ashland.”
As long as I’m hitting on Polish people today, why not jsssssst one more:
I can see where strippers would be all up in arms, boobs and legs over not being able to collect unemployment benefits. After all, it IS a job. Hey….you try and climb a stinkin’ pole day in and….um,…..sorry, that should be, night in and night out and then get laid off and not be able to collect benefits. It’s just not right.
After all, you don’t see telephone, electric, and cable guys who also make a living climbing poles being denied benefits if they get laid off do ya. So what if they’re not half-naked. It’s the principle behind it folks. Pole climbing is pole climbing. End of argument.
I’m sure if those utility guys had an opportunity to climb a pole half-naked on a hot summer’s day, they’d do so. So what’s the big deal?
One final tip I should point out about pole dancing. Never, I mean never, should you, your spouse or your pet attempt to try pole dancing during frigid temperatures while naked or semi naked.
So thumbs up to the Kansas Supreme court for upholding the rights of all strippers. And I’m sure they’ll give me a “thumbs up” as well for giving them a “thumbs up” as long as they’re able to give me a “thumbs up” while doing their supreme court things and not attempting to give me a “thumbs up” while attending, or doing some supreme court research, while attempting to use such thumbs while sticking one dollar bills into a stripper’s panties.
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