I Absolutely Hate Writing Another “Honey Boo Boo” Blog….But…….

Honey and Mrs. Boo Boo.........Aghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Honey and Mrs. Boo Boo………Aghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I really need some serious counselling. Honestly folks. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I see a story about that kid Honey Boo Boo and I completely lose it. My eyeballs fuzz up, steam comes outta my ears, and all sorts of unbelievable language comes outta my mouth. Even the cats run for cover.

So there I was calmly reading my morning paper and a story about how TV programs have gone bigger in 2012 caught my eye. Not to mention, but I will, that Honey #%$&!$# Boo Boo popped up on my TV screen on New Years Eve. So I said to myself, “Self, how can TV programs get any bigger other than buying 52 inch TV?”

The answer wasn’t that of course. It was that, according to some brain-dead reporter, namely some guy named Jeffery A. Johnson, obviously leads a very boring life and decided to write about TV programs that he really thinks are great TV fare for all the rest of us. Some of whom may also be freakin’ brain dead. Or on the brink of.

So what was one of the programs that HE thinks is supercalifragilistcexdialidocious. (sorry Mary Poopins…oops…..Mary Poppins)

HONEY FREAKIN’ BOO BOO!

Gimmie a freakin’ break will ya Jeffery!!!!

Beam me up Scotty....no intellegent TV programming on the TLC channel.

Beam me up Scotty….no intelligent TV programming on the TLC channel.

Why in the hell would anyone with a half a brain want to watch a program about a family, as Jeffery points out, that has, “weight problems, money woes, relationships, has a pig for a pet, (now gone) a new baby sister that has two thumbs on one hand, and who spend their Saturday’s at their local landfill.”

Where the hell was the “TLC” channel when I was hanging out at landfills looking for box tops to redeem for cash back in the 70′s? And, “The Learning Channel?”  THE LEARNING CHANNEL!!!! Shouldn’t The Learning Channel be learning us something? Like how NOT to watch a stupid TV show about a dysfunctional family.

Look folks. I’m not claiming to be normal. As you can tell by what I write in these blogs on a daily basis. But, does that qualify me for a damn TV show? NO!  What the hell! Do I need. A freakin’ aardvark for a pet. Spending time at my local landfill while dining out on what’s available? Spinning cat fur into designer coats? (I have 5 cats) Gaining 150 pounds and having TLC cameras follow me around the house as I attempt to make it from one room to another without falling over and unable to get up!!! WHAT!

Terrifying scene from Honey Boo Boo's mom feeding the family cat.

Terrifying scene from Honey Boo Boo’s mom feeding the family cat.

I just can’t figure out the reality show attraction in this Honey Boo Goo Foo Boo thing.

Hey! I got problems in my own life too ya know that qualifies for my own reality show. Do ya see TLC knockin’ on my door?

First of all I have 5 stinkin’ freeloading cats that at any given moment, barf, claw on furniture, stand over my cereal bowl in the morning waiting for milk, take up half the queen size bed at night, including my pillow, (did I mention I have cat allergies) and constantly think it’s their duty to accompany me to the bathroom and wait till I’m sitting on the commode so that they can place their cold wet noses on my butt and drive me nuts.

Typical scene at the MisfitWisdom house. Definately TLC material.

Typical scene at the MisfitWisdom house. Definitely TLC material.

Then, living with Ms. Misfit who still hasn’t grasped the concept that when I’m writing these stupid blogs not to break my feeble train of thought by running the dreaded 5000 decibel vacuum cleaner, asking me stupid questions like, “Do you know where l left my purse,” or sitting behind me while I’m writing and asking me what I’m writing while I’m attempting to write and can’t because she’s sitting behind me asking me what I’m writing. Agggggh!!!!block

Hey TLC…….how about your cameras following us around when we’re so bored outta our trees from lack of funds to do anything else but play a card game of gin and my other half getting so bent outta shape from losing games constantly, (I cheat) that she uses words like, #^&$#@!! and #*!^*%#!# out of frustration. Some I’ve never even heard of either.

And her obsession with keeping the damn thermostat set at 60 degrees all through the Winter in our house so that I have to wear six layers of clothes, earmuffs, and gloves with cut off fingers while I write. Not to mention that the warmest place in this house is in front of our fake fireplace. At least to me it is. I think it’s a mental thing.mad woman pointing

Yeah TLC. There’s more real reality here than following Honey freakin’ Boo Boo. How about following us to the casino to play a damn 1 cent machine because that’s all we can afford, and, only because we get free slot play once a week because we’re old geezers and it’s like throwing us a bone. A welcome bone however. Otherwise we’d never be able to go to the casino.

AND……film my other half when she gets all kinds of excited when playing that ten bucks and she hits the slot machine for $1.50. While I slither in the background to a dark space so I can’t be seen by high rollers who think she’s a damn nut case.p30_cartoon

HEY! Just the fact that I am so insane enough to write this stinkin’ daily blog should be enough for TLC to consider doing a MisfitWisdom reality show. So what if it would be cancelled after one show. The again, maybe not. If a little chubby kid, a pig, and dump surfing family can make it…..why not me?

I might add that this past week some guy from Australia commented on one of my blogs that he thoroughly enjoyed reading this stuff and that, in his opinion, I would be a famous blogger someday.

I sent him a message back saying, “Yeah, in my own mind.”

Or…..if TLC calls me

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "A Grimm Look At Fairy Tales, For Adults Only" and "the Job" (Amazon.Kindle) and "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. Retired from broadcasting in 1988 and floated around aimlessly in various no brainer jobs such as a traffic clerk for a TV station, dispatcher for AAA, a cab driver in a tourist town, a phone company line assigner, and finally a chauffeur for a resort casino. After all of those various experiences I felt it was time to retire and devote my otherwise useless time to writing this blog. I could write serious commentary, but who the hell would take me seriously? So I decided not to be serious and write a daily blog on a humorous level. However, I do find myself getting somewhat frustrated at today's world of political stupidity and the people that tend to believe everything that is fed to them by the mainstream media. So, with that in mind I write on a daily basis what I see as newsworthy but funny....at least from my demented viewpoint. Please feel free to comment on my daily blog regardless of your opinion both pro or con. If it's con, I will have to track you down and severely pound the hell out of you. (only kidding) Appreciate any help from my blog readers in forwarding my daily rants to your friends, neighbors, or enemies. Hey, I'll take whatever it takes to get more followers. You can also vote for this blog at weblogawardscom. Richard Vittorioso aka MisfitWisdom receive no compensation for these blogs. However, any donations for creative effort are appreciated through PayPal. Thanks everyone.
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9 Responses to I Absolutely Hate Writing Another “Honey Boo Boo” Blog….But…….

  1. in2indigo says:

    Really!! Don’t get it but it made for a funny blog. Tell “Ms. Misfit” hey.

    ________________________________

  2. J Roycroft says:

    I totally get this Honey Boo Boo bullshit. It’s a concentrated effort by dumb fat white people to further the cause of putting the state of Georgia even lower on the dumb Southerner scale. The only positive thing about the show is how well it highlights why dumb people shouldn’t breed. I personally cannot stomach even the thought of that family. I guess if anything positive can come from watching that show, it would be to raise ones own self esteem. You cannot possibly watch that family and come away thinking you have personal issues. It’s definitely a self esteem booster. Damn, maybe I should write a post about that bunch. Question- Is there really any doubt what happened to their pet pig?

    • misfit120 says:

      Thanks to J. Roycroft for reposting the MisfitWisdom blog today. Especially for his “great blogger” comment. I am humbled. Broke and humbled. But…..great.. (L)

      Click here for my daily blog.http://misfit120.wordpress.com

  3. J Roycroft says:

    Reblogged this on THE ROYCROFT REPORT and commented:
    This comes from one of the great bloggers. A must read for you Honey Boo Boo fans, or haters. -JRoycroft

  4. This is one show I refuse to watch, preferring instead to focus my energy on Finding Bigfoot. Now that is a show about what is real in this world!

    • misfit120 says:

      Thanks….yes “Bigfoot” is easier to follow. Bigger feet for one, and I don’t think he’s a Redneck…….but, just to be on the safe side, if you find him or her, (can’t be sure) let me know.

  5. Let me admit that my husband, an outdoor writer, finds this show totally ridiculous and will pass it by if it happens to be on. All of the ‘squatch’ signs he explains as something else. If I have to watch competitive poke with him, he has to watch this and Ghost Adventures with me.

  6. 腕時計 メンズ おすすめ

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