Oh Boy, oh gosh, goleeeeeeee! I can get a pre-paid debit card. My very own debit card that I can use ANYWHERE! Holy Batman! This is simply amazing considering I’ve always had a hard time getting any credit cards because my income is so low my paper boy made me fill out a 16 page credit application before he agreed to deliver my morning paper. FINALLY…I can buy anything that I want to.
Hmmm…..let’s see, what exactly is a pre-paid debit or credit card: (checking “eHow.com” site)
“Prepaid debit cards provide you with added convenience when spending money and paying bills. You can use a prepaid debit card to pay bills that accept debit or credit card payments, thus providing a faster and easier way to submit payments. Debit cards can be used to make purchases online and at just about any store, restaurant or other places of business. You will have the convenience of not needing to carry around much cash when you use a prepaid debit card.”
WOW! Such a deal. Take that you stinkin’ credit checking paper boy ratfink!
Sooooooo. Um, what’s my credit limit? (checking “eHow.com” again)
“Generally, customers place anywhere from $100 to $1,000 in their prepaid accounts, though some prepaid debit cards are funded with thousands of dollars while other accounts may be opened with as little as $25. Once the account is funded, the customer receives a card with a unique account number; this card is activated by the issuing bank and is ready for use.”
WAIT! I have to deposit anywhere from $25 dollars to $100 or $1,000 to get a pre-paid debit card? WTF!!!
If I had anywhere from $25 to $1,000 what the freak would I need a damn pre-paid debit card for? Hmmmm……maybe there’s’ a really good logical reason. Let me check “eHow.com” again.
“When the transaction is presented to the issuing bank, the institution debits the card holder’s account for the purchase amount and returns an approval code to the merchant. If the customer’s account does not have sufficient funds to cover the purchase, the bank returns a decline message and the customer is asked for an alternative payment method. Other transactions, such as returns, are processed in much the same way.”
WHAT! Let me see if I understand the logic here. (keep in mind I flunked math in school but that I “DO” own a calculator)
Me, Misfit, has $25. So, if I want to appear that I am in the money, (to merchants) I deposit my $25 into a pre-paid account with a bank. THEN, instead of handing a clerk in a store actual cash, I simply hand over my card, which they, (the merchants) think is an actual credit card, which makes me appear to be affluent, which also gives me a good credit rating, which also saves me all the trouble of agonizingly, (moths) reaching into my wallet and handing over actual cash. Which we all know does not impress the store clerks, and is much dirtier, (money) than a nice clean debit card.
Great idea! Great way to rebuild your credit and look rich at the same time by flashing your card around. Especially if there’s a hot babe nearby you want to impress.
Um…..wait a sec. There’s gotta be a catch in here somewhere. Why would a nice friendly trustworthy bank that wants to do nothing but serve us for a mere pittance per month want us to use a debit card rather than cash? Is that rotten smell I smell coming from Denmark? Or your local money-grubbing friendly bank?
Hmmmmm. Me now check “eHow” now Kemo Sabe.
“Prepaid debit cards typically carry steep fees, and the issuing bank assess fees for virtually every transaction associated with the card. Many banks charge a fee of up to $9.99 for creating and funding a prepaid debit account, and may also charge a monthly maintenance fee of between $4 and $15. In addition, financial institutions often charge transaction fees of either a flat amount (maybe $1) or a small percentage (around 0.25% of the transaction amount) for each transaction. Other common fees may include refill fees, online access fees, and customer service fees, though each bank maintains its own schedule of fees for prepaid debit cards.”
WHAT! #%$#@!#!!# motherf*****s! I knew it! They want a cut of my stinkin’ $25 dollars I deposited under the guise of building up my credit so I wouldn’t have to carry cash on me, and impress that hot babe watching me use my credit card in a store. Bastards!
So let me sum this all up for you. You have $25 cash and no credit. So, you take your $25, get a pre-paid debt card, which the bank charges you a bunch of fees to use, which, when they’re done charging you their fees, your purchase of a coffee and donut at a Dunkin Donuts that you used your new debit card on is rejected for lack of enough funds in your account. Which was around $1.25 after the bank deducted their fees.
Which in turn all but screwed your chances for scoring with that hot babe standing in line at that Dunkin Donuts that you offered to buy a coffee and donut for.
The moral to this story. Or, “Aesop” fable as I like to call it, rather than a “moral. More like “immoral.”
Screw the pre-paid debit card. Take your $25 CASH to Dunkin Donuts, (no hidden fees on donuts) and know that you have enough cash to buy not only yourself a coffee and donut, but that hot babe a coffee and donut too. Maybe even a bagel.
(DONATE) The pre-paid and fully loaded MisfitWisom PayPal link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) copy and pre-load the link into your browser to get to the PayPal site. There are no hidden fees in using the PayPal site to donate. You might even impress a really great looking woman while you’re whipping out a few bucks to make a donation, and, who knows, a really great relationship could evolve simply by donating to MisfitWisdom and giving that woman the impression that you’re really loaded with cash. (this will not work if you only whip out two or three bucks) Just sayin.’
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