After I regained control of myself from laughing hysterically at this photo (below) I decided to ask myself, why am I laughing hysterically at this photo, (below) and why am I typing the word “below” twice in this paragraph. Because I’m still laughing uncontrollably at this stupid photo (below) and can’t regain my senses.
Perhaps you can’t grasp the humor in this very scary photo which appeared in the New York Times courtesy of Jenn Ackerman, who most likely had to remain in control while taking this photo and not break out in a fit of hysterical laughter too.
So what’s so funny? If you need me to explain this to you, please leave the room now because even after I explain it to you, you obviously will not get it, or, you’re seriously considering the story that goes along with this photo and you resemble the nerdy guy with glasses holding the biggggg gun.
The story headline was, “For $325, you can “kill” bin Laden.” Yep, a gun range in New Hope, Minnesota offers you the chance to role play a Navy Seal by blazing into a room (simulation) and shooting the heck outta bin Laden. Geez, don’t we all just wanna do that on a lazy Saturday afternoon with nothing else to do.
HEY! Whatever floats your boat. But….take a look at the second guy from the left in this photo. Yep, the nerdy little guy with the glasses and plaid shirt holding that big gun with a very threatening look on his face. I’m scared as hell just looking at him. As I’m sure any self-respecting terrorist would be as well.
So here’s this big strapping 250 pound macho guy standing next to this little twerp saying to himself, “Cripes, if I’m gonna actually blow anybody away it’s gonna be this little weasel standing next to me before anybody sees this photo of me holding this big gun with him standing next to me.”
Can ya imagine the fear in any terrorists eyes as he sees this five foot two Seal, um, excuse me, wrong choice of words, the five foot two ant come racing at him with a gun that’s bigger than he is. The only way this kid is gonna knock off a few terrorists is if they too are laughing uncontrollably at the sight of him coming towards them as his glasses get fogged up from the excitement and pens and pencils fall out of his shirt pocket.
“Hey Abdoul ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,….lookit this…ha, ha, ha, it’s…..snicker…..Pee Wee Herman with a gun…..”
“Oooooooooooooh I’m so scared Kareem. Quick, hand me that fly swatter.”
First of all folks. Why would anybody want to spend $325 dollars for a chance to kill bin Laden? I mean, for one thing, he’s already been killed. Secondly, is that really how ya wanna spend $325 dollars? For $325 dollars there’s a lot more things you could spend your money on and get more satisfaction out of. Like a really good hooker for instance. Just Sayin’
Not to mention a really great night out. Or $325 dollars worth of Powerball quick pick tickets. Which is what that nerdy guy should do with his $325 dollars instead of spending it on an hour or two of shooting a big gun at a damn likeness of bin Laden.
Then if he actually gets lucky, not with any hot babe, but winning Powerball, he could then perhaps, with his winnings, buy his way into one of those secret commando units, go overseas and actually fight terrorism, by opening his own “pretend to kill a terrorist shooting range,” for the actual commandos on their off time.
Only because no self-respecting commando fighting terrorists is gonna want this panty waist anywhere near them on any raids. That gun he’s holding weighs more than he does so the chances of him dropping it and shooting up his fellow commandos is pretty great.
Not to mention, but I will, the number of times he might have to stop to put Visine in his eyes while at the same time trying to appear threatening.
One more thing. He might wanna consider giving the deep six to that plaid shirt he’s wearing and opt for something more commando type looking.
Um…..nah…..forget it. There’s nothing that’s gonna make this kid threatening looking.
Unless he gives it all up and teaches botany to a 5th grade elementary school class.
“Hey kids. Did I ever tell ya the time I was attacked by a terrorist Venus Flytrap plant?”
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