Geez, just the other day I used Frank Sinatra’s song, “New York, New York,” in one of my blogs along with a line from the song, “I wanna wake up in a city that never sleeps…….”
Now I know why many New Yorker’s never sleep. RATS! Yep, big ol scary looking eat your face off rats! And Sinatra wanted to wake up to that! He’d surely have some competition being on “top of the heap,” and “king of the hill” what with all those rats fighting him for that heap and hill.
Yes, there are rats everywhere! Garbage cans, discarded lunch bags, sewers, door steps, limousines. Um, oh, sorry, there’s not really any rats in limousines. Unless you count any Mafia type guys who may be considering ratting out on the mob. But, THOSE rats usually are taken care of by the Godfather and really isn’t the problem in New York. It’s the other kind of rat. (see rat video below…..do not eat any cheese while viewing this)
(Joey Reynolds and Danny Neaverth where are ya when we need ya? See video at the end of today’s blog)
For those of you who heeded my warning by not eating cheese and are not presently being devoured by rats, here’s more about what one man is doing to alert residents in his neighborhood about rats…..lots and lots of rats.
Joseph Bulanos is on a rat crusade. He is president of the West 76th Street block association, which I assume is on West 76th street in New York. Just around the corner of West 75th street and a bit down from West 77th street.
Joe, who, I guess, has had it with rats, came up with the idea to make up a bunch of rat crossing signs and post them up on poles in his neighborhood to warn residents that rats are in the area…….and may be crossing. Helps people out too who might be in the market for rat stew or just are kinda lonely and like hanging around with rats. Like Willard in the movie “Willard.”
It’s a dirty job posting rat signs all over the place, but hey, somebody’s gotta do it. As you can see by the photo below, the rat crossing signs are pretty neat with a triangular design that says, “rat-xing” and a really cute picture of a rat, who, I might add, volunteered to pose for the sign design.
Joe said that he felt the call to rat duty after hearing complaints from neighborhood residents about loud screeching and screaming. After first determining that the loud screeching and screaming was not coming from the bimbo’s apartment on the second floor of his apartment building, which is a normal occurence, considering that particuliar apartment is rented by a local stripper, Joe narrowed down the screeching and screaming to the noise rats make while doing the same thing the stripper does when she entertains late night guests. Which none of the neighbors EVER complained about.
When asked why he took action he said: “It’s like a “Cirque du Soliel” out there.” Obviously referring to the popular circus act, which may or may not use rats in their performances.
One city official has even formed a, “rat academy” which trains tenants on how to fight rats. I assume upon graduating the academy one would receive a rat certificate which states that you are qualified to fight rats. My guess anyhow. Maybe even a rat ninja type outfit.
The problem is that rats like food. Which is quite understandable. And, not having jobs or the funds to buy their own food, they come out at night, which, like humans, is the best time to dine out, and forage for bits and tiny morsels upon which to devour. Kinda like when it’s late at night and you can’t sleep and have a craving for a late night snack. Except rats don’t have refrigerators.
Maybe THAT’S the solution to the rat problem Joe.
Instead of wasting your time tacking up useless signs why not get the neighborhood rat academy people to chip in and buy some rat refrigerators, stock them up with really tasty food items, place them where the rats most frequently hang out, along with some rat signs directing the rats to the fridges, and, “shazam!” problem solved.
No more screeching and screaming in the dead of night. With the exception of that bimbo on the second floor.
But hey…..ya got to give a little if it means you solved the rat problem.
Just like the Mafia when they have a “rat” problem.
Except they use cement rather than refrigerators.
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