Where’s Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie and John Wayne when ya need them? Somebody, anybody, alert the troops. Call to arms! Call to arms! Or legs, or any other body parts we can assemble. We’ll stop those U. N. varmints in their U. N. tracks as sure as my name isn’t Sam Houston!
Hmmm. WAIT! Did I once again read a story wrong?
Oops….sorry folks. I did read it wrong. It’s what happens when ya multitask. I was watching this huge Red Sox trade on TV, reading the paper, watching my other half track down a huge spider and crush it to smithereens and attempting to scarf down my morning bowl of gruel. So I didn’t quite read this story out of Texas in its entirety.
(the spider was the size of a pin head by the way…..which is huge to her)
It seems that Lubbock, Texas county judge, Tom Head, (not to be confused with dickhead) claims that if President Obama wins the election and gets a second term there will be a civil outbreak leading to a possible civil war, which I think means that it will be a war involving civilians, but will be civil. No swearing and shouting and stuff.
He claims that taxes need to be raised so that the county could prepare for emergencies such as the U. N. invading Lubbock and taking over things. Like the local Seven Elevens, car washes, McDonald’s, Henny Penny stores and local lemonade stands run by little Lubbock children. Not to mention the concession stands at the Alamo in San Antonio.
These were his comments as taken from the Reuters news service: (woid for woid)
“He (Obama) is going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the U.N. What’s going to happen when that happens? I’m thinking worst case scenario — civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe,” Head said.
“What’s going happen … if the public decides to do that? He’s going to send in U.N. troops, I don’t want them in Lubbock County. I’m going to stand in front of their armored personnel carriers and say ‘You’re not coming in here,’” he said.
Me thinkith that he’s already stood in front of one too many armored personnel carriers as it is. Yep, stand in front of one of those things and you’re bound to suffer some sort of brain damage. Or at least some really bad scars from those armored personnel carriers running over you.
Can anybody say, “This guy is a freakin’ nutcase?”
OK….I’ll say it. “This guy is a freakin’ nutcase.” No offense to anyone who may be a legitimate nutcase with good cause.
(please refer to Donald Trump with regard to legitimate nutcases)
A spokesman for U. N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, (no relation to Moon Zappa) said that the idea that the U. N. would invade Texas is absolutely ridiculous. To quote the spokesman, Martin Nesirky, “No one, not even the U. N. would ever mess with Texas.”
Yeah, you tell him podner. Nobody messes with Texas. Just ask them there Alamo people who fought to defend the Alamo back in 1836 and kicked some butt.
Well, anyway, you do not mess with them there Texans. So you U. N. people just better not even attempt to invade Texas. They got Arnold Schwarzenegger just around the corner who’ll kick your U. N. butts back to wherever it is you U. N. people come from. They’re not puny ass little Rhode Island ya know!
(apologies to any puny ass little Rhode Islanders)
So it remains to be seen if the judge gets his way and the country gives him the tax money he’s requested to combat a possible invasion of his county from those awful U.N. people.
I personally would like to see Obama re-elected solely to see if the U.N. does invade Lubbock county. It’s been such a long time since we’ve had an actual real life honest to goodness shoot-em-up western type hoo ha gunfight in the streets of Lubbock.
Anyone know if there was EVER a real life honest to goodness shootout in the streets of Lubbock…..ever? Not counting the time Doc Holliday had a dentist’s office and shot some guy for not paying for his gold filling.
So, in conclusion, today I’m awarding the officials of Lubbock County Texas the “MisfitWisdom Brass Balls” award for appointing this judge to the bench without first administering him a test for competency.
Which would have been very simple. They could have just asked him one qualifying question to determine if he were qualified to be a judge.
The question: “What is the Alamo?”
If he answered, “A mission in San Antonio,” he flunked the test.
Anybody with half a brain knows that it’s a rent a car company. DUH!
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