Sometimes I read way too much stuff. Stuff that most normal people don’t even bother reading. Which, for the most part just makes me say to myself, “why the hell am I reading this stuff anyhow?” I’ll tell ya why….because I have way too much time on my hands, which is why I feel obligated to pass this stuff on to all of you who don’t have a lot of time and are missing out on all of this important stuff. Consider it a MisfitWisdom public service.
Today’s important stuff is entitled, “How Better Habits Can Make Your Day,”…or Clint Eastwood’s, depending on who he’s pointing a bigggg gun at.
I came across an article in this weeks “Time” magazine that supposedly deals with our daily activities, many of which fall into the category of habits. Like putting too much food on our plates despite wanting to lose weight, according to New York Times reporter Charles Duhigg. Which many of you are saying to yourselves…”duh,” which is the first part of Charles last name. Kinda ironic don’t ya think.
Anyhow, according to “Duh,” (we’ll call him that for short, like they call me “Dick” for “Richard” although I don’t know how you get “Dick” out of Richard)
Oops…..yes….I know….forget the urge for a one liner joke you damn perverts.
Continuing……Duh says that we can all change our habits by keeping the old cue, which is the signal that leads you to initiate a routine and the old reward which is the gratifying experience that reinforces that routine.
Confused? Well let me give you an example from the article. “If getting home from work is usually a cue to flop on the couch and munch chips while watching TV, put a pair of laced-up sneakers by the front door.” Why you ask? Because, according to Duh, you will be “substituting a new routine – an early evening run – for the old one of snacking and then keeping the reward, snacking and watching TV, for later.” Thereby creating a new habit that you might want to keep.
Unless of course if you’re like me, want instant gratification and say screw it and go for the snacks and TV and throw the sneakers in the closet. Works for me, and I’m very happy with it. DUH!
BUT WAIT! According to Mr. Duh, we slugs do do, (can I put two do do’s in the same sentence and make it sound right?) well, I did anyhow, live with it, we do, do something right without even knowing it. We drink coffee. YES…coffee! Who wouda’ guessed!
Ya see folks, coffee contains caffeine which increases the brain’s level of dopamine, ya damn dopes. YES DOPAMINE! Which is, as we all know, because we all are smart, is the neurotransmitter, (implanted by aliens in our brains as we sleep) that promotes feelings of motivation and reward. So, if someone tells you that drinking coffee is just one of those habits you have to break by switching to orange juice or, “OMG! I coulda had a V8,” instead, tell them to stick it because you now know coffee is good for you because it contains dopamine and makes you motivated………maybe enough to actually put on those sneakers, go for a run before you pig out on something and watch TV.
Um……on second thought….maybe not. Why put off that instant gratification by wasting time running while your other half sits at home snacking in front of the TV and thinking what a jerk you are.
(click on diagram to enlarge brain photo) >
One more tip from Duh on how to get your morning off to a great start. Instead of jumping out of bed when the alarm goes off, set the alarm a few minutes early, then you can just relax in bed and let your thoughts flow and perhaps jot them down on a pad as you lie awake in bed with what Duh calls, “evanescent inspirations,” which, for me, usually is getting horny.
Sorry, but if I’m gonna lie in bed next to my other half with all kinds of extra time on my hands because I set the alarm early, I’m not gonna be jotting things down on a freakin’ pad. Hey….let’s hear it for the dopamine! All of a sudden I feel energized…..and I ain’t talkin’ about putting my sneakers on and walking.
Hmmmm……maybe Duh is on to something.
Ok……suppose we all do it this way. Skip all that unnecessary stuff like running, drinking a V8, setting the alarm early just to do some thinking and instead, jump out of bed, pour ourselves three or four cups of dopamine loaded coffee, (include your other half in this experiment too) and then, with all that dopamine induced motivation, along with your neurotransmitter that promotes feelings of rewards, thanks to the dopamine, have some really great sex! How simple is that!
HEY….it’s a habit “I” can live with……..and not feel guilty.
Geez…..thanks Duh.
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