Yeah, I know, you were thinking I was gonna write about unusual pet names women call men, like “snookums” and all that stupid stuff. Not gonna happen. It’s bad enough we tend to give our pets silly names.
For instance, “Petfinder” has put out their list of 2011′s most unusual pet names. Most likely because they have nothing better to do…..other than find pets I guess.
In an article on “Shine” by Sarah D. Bunting, who herself has a rather unusual name, when you consider that “bunting” means, “a light woolen stuff or cotton fabric used for flags and or, one of various birds related to finches and sparrows.” I can image the joke she gets about her name. Hmmm….perhaps if she has a pet it might be called “Sparrow” or “Cottonball..” Just a thought Sarah.
A few names I picked out from the article that stood out were “Blue Sparkles McGillicutty,” which, by the time it takes to yell out that pet’s name it’s long gone. “Fluff Dog Millionaire” a take on the movie, “Slum Dog Millionaire,” and “Jimmy Chews,” probably because this dog or cat chews everything in sight.
Then there’s “Brad the Pit Bull,” which could be very well be a companion pet named, (and I made this one up) “Angelina Boneolie.” Then there’s “Cindy Clawford” and “Barry Meow-nilow.” Come to think of it Barry Manilow does sort of have some feline characteristics.
There’s no limit to the creative mind when it comes to naming our pets. I recall giving one of my cats a simple but effective name….”Meow.” Yep, I named my first cat “Meow.” Not much thought in that but it seemed to work for me until I came home late from work one night in the early morning hours and couldn’t locate that cat. So I stood out on my front doorstep calling him.
Now how do ya call a cat? By its name of course. So there I was at 2am in the dead of night calling out his name, “Meow….Meow…Meow.” It was shortly thereafter that the police arrived and wanted to know if I had been drinking or high on something.
I suppose if you were one of my neighbors and heard some guy standing outside on his front stairs yelling “Meow” at 2am you’d call the cops too. Needless to say, but I’ll say it anyhow, after some explaining with a sheepish look on my face, the cops bought my story and went on their way shaking their heads. Damn cat never showed up while they were there either so I could vindicate myself.
The only other time I came close to a repeat of that episode is when I had a dog, a beagle, and named him “Woof.” However, after that cat episode there was no way I was going to go outside in the dead of night and call for him at the top of my voice yelling, “WOOF.” I’m not THAT stupid.
Nowadays all of my 5 cats have simple ordinary names and none of them leave the house. They have never seen the likes of daylight outdoors and never will. Lest we have a repeat episode of neighbors calling the police. I DO feel somewhat sorry for them not being able to experience the great outdoors, but I ease their curiosity by occasionally bringing in a mouse for them to play with, or pictures of other outdoor cats that venture into our yard.
The pictures work fine but the mouse drives my other half up a wall……or chair…….literally. It IS fun however. She fails to appreciate the humor in my efforts to appease all of the cats however.
So, in conclusion, be verrrry careful what you name your pets. Names like Harry, Jack, Ralph, or Herman are fine but you’ll find yourself receiving credit card offers in their names because those stupid people have no idea they’re animals. Which is fine if you really wanna build up your credit using your pets credit cards.
CNN Headline News...."Retailers report a rise in credit card abuse by pet owners using their animals credit cards."
The only problem with that is that many credit card companies are now requiring a photo ID. The only way around that is to grow a full beard and let your ear hair and eyebrows grow really long. Coughing up a hairball or licking yourself as your card is being processed also adds to your credibility when you’re making a credit card purchase using your pets card.
Um….not that “I” have ever tried this mind you.
“Dear……the mail just came in and I opened this Visa card bill and it says that someone in our family named “Fluffy” charged $500 at “Home Depot” for a 500 horsepower riding lawnmower….do you know anything about this?”
Oops……
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