Shocking! Shocking I tell ya. Now the “Occupy Wall Street Movement” has spread to squirrels who are planning to come out in masses to protest the inequity when it comes to acorns. Yep, acorns.
Squirrels are claiming that due to the lack of a good acorn crop this year that they are on the brink of starvation, and other animals, such as white-footed mice, (mice with white feet I think) and chipmunks, namely the 1% who don’t necessarily depend on acorns are making it difficult for any self-respecting squirrel to survive.
You may recall that last year, according to the people who track acorn production, obviously scientists who have nothing better to do with their time, that acorns were all over the place. There were so many acorns last year that squirrels had to outsource acorn collecting to out-of-state squirrels as far away as Canada and New Mexico. Which is why many observers spotted Mexican speaking squirrels out on their front lawns taking a siesta and other squirrels from Canada checking out Maple trees instead of Oaks.
Due to the lack of a good acorn crop this year those scientists also warn of repercussions, stating that mice, also unable to find enough acorns to eat will turn to other food sources including the eggs of songbirds. Not good for a songbird who may have a concert appearance and has to do it on an empty stomach.
They also expect the squirrel population to plummet due to the lack of food along with the mouse population, which is bad for owls and hawks who prey on small rodents. AND….this also means that those creepy no good stinkin’ gypsy moths, who pray on Oak trees, may make an unwelcome appearance. AND…as if this wasn’t enough, deer too may feel the effect of this acorn shortage. OMG! Does this ever stop?
Deer, forced to leave the safe cover of their deer condos and wherever else it is that deer tend to hang out, will, in search of food, be attracted to homeowners’ landscaping and gardens. The DEM has already issued an advisory to motorists not to pick up any deer that may be on the Interstate hitchhiking in order to get to other places in search of food. Especially areas like Wal-Mart, Home Depot and Lowes that carry deer food. Most deer do not have credit cards or carry cash on them and they may become aggressive if you pick them up and they demand to go to any of these stores while tearfully begging for your help and while you’re distracted, lift your wallet. The same applies to squirrels too.
So now squirrels are among the 99%. And we can expect these little guys to be out there protesting in large numbers. This can only mean one thing. Huge squirrel protests will bring out Lt. John Pike, the pepper spray cop, and squirrels will be sprayed en mass with hundreds of them flopping all over the place. Not a pretty sight.
People, we have to do something before all of this gets out of hand. Prevent pepper spraying of innocent squirrels in your neighborhood as well as easing the tensions between mice, other rodents and squirrels by feeding our fine furry friends until next year when an abundant acorn crop may be a possibility. Head out to your local store and stock up on squirrel corn cobs and save a squirrel and his family. It’s the decent thing to do.
It’s not going to be easy folks. Many squirrels will most likely go off the deep end. Many squirrel bodies will be strewn all over the highways as they end it all rather than face starvation and the humility of not being able to provide for their loved ones. Lets support the “Occupy Oak Tree” movement and come to the aid of our fellow squirrels. Again, it’s the decent thing to do.
(Today’s blog was written with the assistance of Rusty and Rustilina Squirrel and their five children who reside in an Oak tree on the MisfitWisdom estate)
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I love this! You are so right on! I have several critters that are headed to your house for a vacation and good grub-I just sprayed PAM on the poles to my feeders. Now they can’t get them , but it sure makes for good entertainment. I told them you would welcome them. I would sent you money-but I don’t have any.