I’m Sooooo Broke I Can’t Even Qualify To Be In The 99% Bracket

If there was a 200% rating for being broke, I’d definitely qualify.  Henceforth and forsooth my fellow slugs, one reason I always list my useless “donate” button at the bottom of every blog.  Not that it works mind you, but I always have hope.

High hopes, that someday someone hitting the lottery feels very generous and actually donates.  I DO tend to dream a lot.  Anyhow, I began to think about all of the people who are demonstrating in the “Occupy Wall Street” protests and said to myself, “Ah feel your pain.”  With that in mind, and of course feeling their pain, I’ve listed a few come back lines for all of you when someone asks you just how broke you are.

The MisfitWisdom image of how I picture myself after writing this blog.

These of course all apply to MisfitWisdom and how broke I am too.

“You’re soooooo broke you rob a food bank.”

“I’m sooooo broke I was walking down the street kicking a can when someone asked me what I was doing. I said, moving.”

I’m sooooo broke that when I stepped on a lit cigarette my other half said, “who turned off the heat?”

“I’m sooooo broke that I can’t even afford to have the “$” on my computer keyboard.”

“I’m soooo broke I go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.”

“I’m soooo broke I went to McDonald’s and put a small fry on lay away.”

“Or, you’re soooo broke you tend to look at your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.”  YUM!

“You’re soooo broke your bologna has no first name.”  (you have to think about that one)

You’re soooo broke Sally Struthers sends YOU food.”

So, you can see where I’m going with this folks.  The economy has hit all of us to the point that, as the old line goes, we’re so broke we can’t even afford to pay attention.

I personally fall into that category but keep plugging along each and every day hoping for a long-lost relative to kick the bucket and remember me in their will.  Fat chance….most of my relatives are callin’ me to ask if I’ll put them in my will.  I would if I could, but I can’t even afford a will, and, if I could, there’d be nothing to put in it anyhow.  (note to my relatives…knock off the phone calls, I’m freakin’ broke)

The MisfitWisdom image of the reality of it all after writing this blog..... $#@!!&$

Actually the only reason I put that “donate” link in my blog every day is that if my computer ever buys the farm, I can’t afford to replace it….and as I said at the start of this blog, henceforth and forsooth, no more MisfitWisdom.  (sob)

So, with that in mind, anyone of you in the 99 to 200% poverty level reading my blogs, you’re off the ol hook, so to speak. (hmmmmm…..is it me or do a lot of poor people just read this blog)

BUT……you 1% people need to contribute to the cause here!  (am I makin’ ya feel guilty yet?  Probably not…..damn!)

Ok…Ok…you need to contribute for the following three reasons: 1. I’m broke. 2. Because you love reading this stuff. and 3….um….er…….um……….um….er……..damn!!!

Hmmm…..let’s see…..ok….look you 1 percenters….I’m soooooooo broke when I go to communion I go back for seconds.

HEY….it was worth a shot.

I have absolutely no shame.

Geez….where the hell is Warren Buffett when ya need him?

(DONATE) Yep, here it is. The “I’m sooooo broke” MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link. (those squiggly lines you see below this paragraph) If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site where you can reach into your pocket and donate. (this is where the “I have absolutely no shame part” comes in)……it’s called “grovelling.”  Which, as you can see, I do very well.  Thanks.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=CUYZEZUWG9AGW

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "A Grimm Look At Fairy Tales, For Adults Only" and "the Job" (Amazon.Kindle) and "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. Retired from broadcasting in 1988 and floated around aimlessly in various no brainer jobs such as a traffic clerk for a TV station, dispatcher for AAA, a cab driver in a tourist town, a phone company line assigner, and finally a chauffeur for a resort casino. After all of those various experiences I felt it was time to retire and devote my otherwise useless time to writing this blog. I could write serious commentary, but who the hell would take me seriously? So I decided not to be serious and write a daily blog on a humorous level. However, I do find myself getting somewhat frustrated at today's world of political stupidity and the people that tend to believe everything that is fed to them by the mainstream media. So, with that in mind I write on a daily basis what I see as newsworthy but funny....at least from my demented viewpoint. Please feel free to comment on my daily blog regardless of your opinion both pro or con. If it's con, I will have to track you down and severely pound the hell out of you. (only kidding) Appreciate any help from my blog readers in forwarding my daily rants to your friends, neighbors, or enemies. Hey, I'll take whatever it takes to get more followers. You can also vote for this blog at weblogawardscom. Richard Vittorioso aka MisfitWisdom receive no compensation for these blogs. However, any donations for creative effort are appreciated through PayPal. Thanks everyone.
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3 Responses to I’m Sooooo Broke I Can’t Even Qualify To Be In The 99% Bracket

  1. Doc says:

    I can quite understand…

    I am about $90 poorer today, paying for a new tire on my car. Just ask anyone, I’m a poor driver.

    Obama says he spends more and more of other people’s money–he, too, says just ask anyone, I’m a poor president.

    When I was young, my mother cut holes in my jean pockets so I could have something to play with. This, after Santa stole my Christmas stocking.

    We used Hefty bags for our travel luggage.

    I stepped in a puddle once, and my mother yelled at me for getting her bathtub dirty.

    My mother was always positive…she said don’t worry about being poor and not having anything,,,they’re just more things to dust.

    My mother couldn’t afford eye shadow. Whenever she went out to dinner with my dad, she would stick her head up the chimney, and blink.

    I broke my nose once, but we were so poor, my doctor just touched up my X-Ray.

    I watch tv by candlelight…

    I’m so poor, even my wife says I’m a poor excuse for a man.

    I make no cents
    Doc

    • misfit120 says:

      Doc…there’s a Rodney Dangerfield position opening for you in Las Vegas

      Click here for my daily blog.http://misfit120.wordpress.com

      • Doc says:

        Hoeh hey! I tell ya. I get no respect….cop pulls me over and asks me why I’m sitting on my seat belt. I tell him, “But officer, I thought it was to protect my ass.” Still wrote me up…

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