Donald Trump Buys A Driveway...Now He Has Everything!

Patricia Kluge in, "The Nine Ages Of Nakedness."

Kluge mansion with no access in a photo taken by a Domino’s Pizza delivery guy who could not deliver the pizza

Yep, “The Donald” has scored another major real estate deal in Virginia with the purchase of a driveway and 200 acres of land that surround the house that the driveway and land are on. The problem is that Bank of America owns the house that the driveway and land are on, so, it’s kind of a standoff.

Donald can park his car in the driveway, but that’s it….unless he wants to just roam the 200 acres and just gaze at the house from afar.

Here’s the full scoop folks.  The house was once owned by John Kluge, entrepreneur and one of the most richest men in America.  Um, he’s not anymore because he died in 2010, which is what happens to people when they get old regardless of how much damn money they have.

Anyhow, his wife, Patricia Kluge, former model, reality TV star, society queen and Kluge’s ex-wife, and, oh yeah, former nude actress once starring in a 1969 movie entitled, “The Nine Ages Of Nakedness,” (photo) in which she appeared as a belly dancer, went to Donald and asked for some financial help. Enter “The Donald” to the rescue.

I’m naturally assuming that Mrs. Kluge could no longer resort to going back to her belly dancing as a means of gathering income to save her estate due to the fact that she’s now in her 60′s and there’s not much call for 60-year-old belly dancers.  My guess anyhow.

Trump owns the front yard, 200 acres and the driveway, which I think is one of the reasons the BOA realtors are a bit pissed off due to the fact that prospective buyers who want to see the house can’t gain access to the property. He’s put up a no trespassing sign too. Unless they hire a helicopter, land on the roof, and shimmy down the bricks to get inside.  Donald says he will buy the house for $3.6 million but the bank is holding out for more.

So right now it appears that it’s kind of a standoff. Who will give in first. The bank or Donald.

Meanwhile, Patricia Kluge is kinda in the ol lurch when it comes to money until this entire mess is settled and she can get some bucks out of it from the deal.

My suggestion to her would be to take advantage of her past experience as a nude model and belly dancer. Yes, I know she’s in her 60′s, but there are a lot of 60-year-old plus baby boomers out there that would just love to have her perform at various functions for old times sake. Say like at a senior bingo function to draw in the crowd.  Of perhaps as an added attraction at a senior blood drive. Maybe AARP magazine could consider implementing a “senior centerfold” in their magazine.  Might boost circulation. And, bring in a few extra bucks for Patricia to tide her over till this land deal is settled.

One final thought Patricia.  I know a very wealthy rich gentleman who’s into nude models.  He hasn’t had very much luck with younger women and just got dumped by his fiancée one day before his scheduled wedding. And, he has gazillions of dollars, and, he might even make you famous once again, even though you’re in your 60′s.

Here’s his address, um, just in case you can’t wait for this land deal to be settled and you need big bucks right away.

H. Hefner, c/o Playboy Magazine, Chicago, Illinois.

You can thank me later.

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

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