Anybody wanna buy a bridge in Brooklyn….I’ll sell it to ya real cheap. On top of that, I’ll throw in the Empire State building and have Mayor Bloomberg autograph both items for you. And…..have them shipped to your home via FedEx free!
For those of you who want to take advantage of this amazing deal, and, who actually believe that Bristol Palin had sex with Levi Johnston while she was out cold after consuming a bunch of wine coolers while on a camping trip, please send me your addresses with a check for $1,375,000, which should cover the shipping costs of the bridge and the building.
I’ll also include, as an added incentive, a photo proving that the earth is indeed flat.
Gimmie a freakin’ break here folks. How long has it been since Bristol and Levi supposedly had sex, had a child, split up, each go their own separate ways, one making gazillions of dollars while the other stands around and goes, “duh?”
How long has it been? How old is the kid? How old was she when the baby popped out? I’ll tell ya. She had the baby when she was 18, she’s now 21, and NOW…..NOW…..she’s saying, “oh gee, yeah now I remember, um, I was out cold on wine coolers when Levi jumped my bones, yeah, that’s it…I was zonked out.”
So, let me see if I understand this correctly, considering my mind does not work like the rest of you folks. She had sex, (unknowingly) on a camping trip with Levi, had the baby, went on speaking tours to tell other kids not to have sex, while making gazillions of dollars, wrote a book, or two on this stuff, and now….I said, NOW….the realization, (I thinkith a star may rise in the East soon) the realization that, “WAIT……I remember, I had sex that I don’t remember.”
Geez….why doesn’t that ever happen to me? I mean I’d love to have sex that I don’t remember, but, I think remembering is the best part, other than the actual sex, which, I definitely want to remember. Hmmmmm……gotta stock up on wine coolers and hope when I’m sleeping, or zoned out on them someone comes into my house and has sex with me.
Ok, this is my theory folks. It’s been a few years since Bristol had the baby. No problem. Mommy grizzly becomes famous. Bristol becomes famous on mommy’s coattails, but, alas, a bunch of flack hits the old fan because she is an unmarried mother, and, after all these years, it’s time to clear the air. With wine coolers.
The ol wine cooler story.
So like, where was the old wine cooler explanation back when she was gaining popularity? Why now?
I’ll tell ya why.
Because the same people who will send me a check for the Brooklyn Bridge and the Empire State building and think that the earth is flat, are actually gonna buy that story and say, “oh, that poor dear child….it was (gasp) date rape.”
Remember P.T. Barnum’s famous quote: “There’s a sucker born every minute.”
If you’re buying her story, better look in the mirror…….
but, send me the check first.
(BLOG NOTE) Every so often a really cute blog is worth mentioning. A fellow blogger at “The Roycroft Report” has such a blog posting today. It’s a video worth watching. Go to “The Roycroft Report” and find the link of his posts and click on the posting, “A Wonderful Little Bedtime Story.”
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV