Looka Larry, ifa youse can't rub out da rat....leave it to me.
Larry the cat has one upped Obama. He’s the official Prime Minister’s mouser at 10 Downing Street. Yep, he’s on the payroll but actually is not considered a member of Parliament, nor does he have to be elected to be a member of the Prime Ministers staff.
I’m not quite sure how one, a cat, would apply for the position. I’m just going to assume that he might have been a member of the Prime Ministers staff prior to David Cameron’s election.
Not much is known about the cat other than his name, Larry, and that he is an excellent mouser, having done in numerous mice using various cat methods which are very secretive and only known to the British Cat Mafia known as “El Cosa Meowfoso.”
However, there seems to be somewhat of a problem at 10 Downing Street with regard to the demise of rats which are also sharing the Prime Ministers residence along with the mice. Larry has not been able to knock off any rats or even put out a contract on them. Not very good if you’re a cat that wants to have its mouse contract renewed.
Larry the cat, as you can see by the photo, is a Tabby cat, which for the most part are very mild-mannered cats who usually just like to lay around and veg out on cat treats and an occasional mouse snack. Rats may be something Tabbys are not fond of considering most rats are not as tasty as mice.
I base this on the fact that mice, such as Mickey and Minnie, prefer morsels such as cheese, bread, cookies, crackers and other household goodies, while rats will eat just about anything, and, after eating just about anything, have upset stomachs, which may account for their terrible dispositions and unsightly appearance. No self-respecting cat, especially a British cat, is going to want to eat some disgusting rat.
The Prime Minister should realize this and say to himself, “If I were a cat would I eat a rat?” (shades of Dr Seuss)
Obviously the answer would be, “NO.”
So, with that in mind, perhaps Mr. Cameron should invest in some professional rat traps and spare Larry the agony of explaining to the press why he has not apprehended any rats.
Hmmmm……I’ve heard of “mousetraps” but is there such a thing as “rat traps?” If so, what’s the difference? And how come I’ve never seen a “rat trap” in a Home Depot or a Wal-Mart? And if rats are bigger than mice, does that mean rat traps, if there are any, are really big? On top of that, how come Walt Disney never had a rat character like Mickey? Was Walt discriminating against rats? Are rats getting a bad rap? And why are some people called “ratfinks” and not “mousefinks?” Or mouse holes not called rat holes if both are used by mice and rats?
I don’t get it.
The problem at 10 Downing Street might be as simple as Larry feeling some compassion for the neglected rat not getting the credit they so deserve in cartoons, comic strips and movies. With the exception of “Remy” (not to be confused with Red Sox commentator Jerry Remy) the head rat in the movie, “Ratatouille.”
But that’s an exception. Most rats do not get movie deals, with the exception of “Lucia Brasi” and “Virgil (The Turk) Sollozzo in the Godfather movies. But that’s only because they were Mafia rats and not British rats.
Prime Minister Cameron. Cut some rat slack for Larry the cat. Perhaps request some assistance from Don Vito Corleone here in the United States.
An expert at rubbing out rats.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV
Header: chickart@cox.net
"Larry" the cat
