I’ve always said that marriage should be outlawed. Of course, this comes from yours truly who’s been divorced twice, and if I so much as utter the word “marriage” with regard to actually considering it again, there are several people I have contracted to shoot me. Cause obviously I’d be outta my freakin’ mind and they’d be doing me a big favor.
Ya see, marriage complicates things. Such as in the case of the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team. Things were just going great. Joe Torre, formally manager of the dreaded evil empire New York Yankees was their manager. Manny, (oh are we playing a game, sorry, I thought it was break time) Ramirez was on their team along with a lot of other great players. So what happened?
D-I-I-V-O-R-C-E, (Tammy Wynette) or Jamie McCourt, came along. Yep, the ol, “Look you damn SOB mother*****r, I’m takin’ you to court and suing your cheap ass butt for everything you own including the baseball team and the cat. Oh yeah, the Mercedes, Corvette, four houses and my autographed baseball from Tommy Lasorda.”
See, marriage and baseball do not mix. At least in the case of L A Dodger owners Frank and Jamie McCourt. So what happens? I’ll tell ya. The baseball commissioner, Bud Selig, has to step in, which is somewhat dangerous when two couples are arguing…..you know how domestic violence is one of the worse things cops hate to respond to.
It goes something like: “Hey you freakin’ screw, (slang for cop) don’t you lay a damn hand on my wife.”
“Sir, you have an automatic weapon with 500 rounds pointed at her head.”
“Yeah, well, that’s ok, I’m her husband…if I wanna blow her damn head off, it’s ok cause I’m married to her….not you bozo….so bug off.”
So commissioner Bud Selig tells the McCourts that he’s taking over the day-to-day operation of the Dodgers due to their mounting debt, or something that one of the McCourts is mounting, which may have led to divorce proceedings in the first place. None of these so-called “mountings” have anything to do with horses.
The McCourt’s purchased the franchise back in 2004 for a paltry $430 Million dollars from Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. (Fox) which was a “fair and balanced deal,” I guess. Again, a paltry amount to the McCourts who own four houses and a bunch of other stuff. Ya can never have enough stuff.
Exactly why does anyone need four houses for anyhow? You can only live in one of them at a time. WAIT! If they get a divorce, which they are, then they’d only need two houses. Which, according to my calculations, means two would be left, which they could, maybe sell to Murdoch, and then have money to help the Dodgers out. My guess anyhow.
Last week McCourt, (Frank) took out a $30 million dollar loan from News Corp.’s Fox News network to meet the Dodgers payroll. Which I think Fox gets from all those stinkin’ commercials they run during all of their programming just to irritate the hell outta us.
So now Selig, (the commissioner) and head of Major League Baseball is running the team until the fight over whether Frank McCourt or Jamie owns the team is determined. Henceforth and forsooth, my feelings on why marriage should be banned…..or at least restricted to people who have brains, and or money, with which to actually buy a brain, and have enough common sense not to buy a brain from anyone named Igor or Frankenstein…..which the McCourts may have done……considering the money they have.
Hey, if you can afford two houses and all kinds of expensive cars and a baseball team, what the hell is a few bucks more to pay for a decent brain….which neither of them apparently have.
So, the Dodgers are happy, for now, they got paid this week. Selig is happy, he’s now in charge of the Dodgers. The lawyers are all happy because they’re going to make a gazillion bucks off of this divorce trial. Even Fox news should be happy. Not only is Frank McCourt in debt to them for $30 million but they get to cover the proceedings of the divorce on TV, (commercial revenue) have McCourt in their pocket, (pay up you flake or we’ll send a big guy named Guido after you) and if Guido actually has to take care of things, Fox gets to cover that story as well…..more commercial revenue. And….they may very well wind up owning the team in the end. Fox just can’t lose.
Unless they do buy back the Dodgers, they have a bad season, and don’t make it to the playoffs.
“Daddy…..can we go to the ballpark and watch the Dodgers play?”
“Um…..sorry son, they’ve been repossessed and the entire team is in a L A pawn shop.”
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV