I Need To Hit The Damn Lottery

LOOK DEAR...WE FINALLY HIT THE LOTTERY, BUT....WE REALLY DON'T NEED IT...WHAT SAY WE GIVE IT TO THAT GUY WITH THE BIG NOSE AT WAL-MART.

I can’t stand it.  I’m literally pulling my hair out….at least the few strands that I have left.

Why you ask?  Because I’m totally frustrated at not hitting the lottery and being able to publish my next book.

Normally this wouldn’t bother me because if I save a few bucks each and every week faithfully, by the year 2025 I might be able to self publish it myself.  BUT….considering that I’m way over the hill, age wise, I might not be able to save enough by then, and if I did, most likely I’ll be dead and my other half will use it to have me creamated……..or go to a casino and play a five dollar slot machine.

But what really gets me frustrated is the amount of time I’ve spent buying a lottery ticket each and every day only to have my numbers be nowhere near the winning numbers drawn.

And then, I watch that old retired couple somewhere out in Nova Scotia that bought a lottery ticket, won over a million dollars, and what are they gonna do!  They’re going to give away most of it because they don’t need it!

THEY DON’T NEED IT!!!!!!!

Why he hell did they even bother to buy a damn lottery ticket in the first place if they didn’t need the money?

See……this is why I never win playing the lottery.

BECAUSE “I” NEED IT!!!!

If I didn’t need it, I’d surely win.  But, I’m convinced there are lottery Gods somewhere up there that know this and determine that the only way anyone can win the lottery is if they don’t need it.

So I’m taking a new tact on this.  No more begging for funds to publish my book….cause I really don’t need it.  No more sending queries to publishers…..cause I really don’t need a publisher to print my book.  No more trying to get an agent to represent me….cause I really don’t need it. No more looking for donations to publish my book or payment plans because…..I really don’t need it.  And…..no more buying lottery tickets because…..um….wait a second……

Strike that last one………I’m still going to buy lottery tickets, but not because I really need it, but…um……er………because I really don’t need it….honest…….(fingers crossed)….. and if I win the lottery for a gazillion dollars, which I really don’t need, I’ll use the money, which I really don’t need, to publish my book, which, if it’s a big success and makes a lot of money, which I really don’t need, I’ll start a fund to help other writers get their books published, but only if they too really don’t need funds to help them get their book published. 

I don’t know if by chance the lottery Gods read blogs, but if they do, I might stand a good chance of hitting the lottery before the week is over.

I’ll let all of you know how that works out.

If by chance, it doesn’t pan out, and there are no lottery Gods, I’ll be soliciting donations to have my book published at your local Wal-Mart.

Just look for the short Italian guy with the big nose greeting you as you enter the store with the following greeting:

“Hi, welcome to your friendly Wal-Mart…….care to contribute to the “get my book published fund” and if you’d rather not, how about a candy bar for only a buck.”

Hey, if ya don’t wanna contribute to getting my book published at least buy the damn candy bar………….

Might make enough money on that alone.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "A Grimm Look At Fairy Tales, For Adults Only" and "the Job" (Amazon.Kindle) and "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. Retired from broadcasting in 1988 and floated around aimlessly in various no brainer jobs such as a traffic clerk for a TV station, dispatcher for AAA, a cab driver in a tourist town, a phone company line assigner, and finally a chauffeur for a resort casino. After all of those various experiences I felt it was time to retire and devote my otherwise useless time to writing this blog. I could write serious commentary, but who the hell would take me seriously? So I decided not to be serious and write a daily blog on a humorous level. However, I do find myself getting somewhat frustrated at today's world of political stupidity and the people that tend to believe everything that is fed to them by the mainstream media. So, with that in mind I write on a daily basis what I see as newsworthy but funny....at least from my demented viewpoint. Please feel free to comment on my daily blog regardless of your opinion both pro or con. If it's con, I will have to track you down and severely pound the hell out of you. (only kidding) Appreciate any help from my blog readers in forwarding my daily rants to your friends, neighbors, or enemies. Hey, I'll take whatever it takes to get more followers. You can also vote for this blog at weblogawardscom. Richard Vittorioso aka MisfitWisdom receive no compensation for these blogs. However, any donations for creative effort are appreciated through PayPal. Thanks everyone.
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