They’re baaaaack!!! Bedbugs that is. And they’re bugging New York City and surrounding boroughs.
”Bite Me” can now be taken literally in the big city.
New Yorker’s are all up in arms about a Mosque being built a few blocks from ground zero, when in fact, they should be worrying about being bitten by a bed bug while their arms are all up worrying about a Mosque being built in New York city.
Right now, at this very moment, bed bugs have invaded the Empire State Building. And they did this without even buying the $20 ticket to get to the observation deck.
Not only that, the little buggers have infested the Brooklyn District Attorney’s office, the Time Warner Company, and AMC movie theater and a Victoria’s Secret store.
Hmmmm, maybe that was really Victoria’s Secret after all…..bedbugs. I kinda suspected she had been hiding something all along. Now the secret’s out.
Fox News reported a while back that they had an infestation of bed bugs as well, however they immediately solved that problem by telling Bill O’Reilly to sleep somewhere else. (sorry Fox News followers….I just couldn’t help myself)
All in all a total of five boroughs have experienced bed bug problems. I personally hope this is strictly a New York problem and does not cross state lines. I kinda feel a bit confident that bed bugs will not be able to make it out of the Big Apple.
I’m basing this on the fact that bed bugs are unable to earn a living, thereby they never have any available cash on hand. So, if any of them attempted to leave New York, they would eventually have to stop at any one of the gazillion toll booths leaving the city, and, unable to cough up the required cash for the tolls, have to turn back.
Unless of course the suckers have a “E Z speed Pass” or “bug pass” and zip through the toll booths. That’s highly unlikely considering that bed bugs do not drive……as far as I know.
Which raises another question. If they don’t drive, how the hell do they get from one place to another?
The answer to this question is…..people. People are transporting bed bugs.
So what’s the solution to this problem?
Well, it’s quite obvious to me. The authorities need to take immediate action by hiring an airplane filled with DDT and spraying the entire city of New York with it.
WAIT! Oh yeah…..DDT is banned. Rats!
Hmmmm. Ok, here’s my next idea. Confiscate all beds in the city of New York and surrounding boroughs and burn them, thus eliminating bed bugs.
Hey….no beds……….no bed bugs!
Which obviously creates another problem. A city full of insomniac walking zombies.
Which is better than bed bugs considering this is a city that never sleeps.
(time now for all of us to break out in a chorus of New York)
“I wanna wake up in a city that never sleeps…etc, etc, etc”
Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV