Well, for us guys, that might not be a bad thing, but personally I think this is getting way out of hand….or um…..hands. (sorry)
Seriously here folks, what the hell is happening with the boob explosion? They’re everywhere. I know it’s summer and that’s the time boobs usually emerge from a winter of seclusion, but in Heidi Montag’s case she’s trying to make it a year round boob popping event.
I know, you women think I’m being a sexist pig. Oink! Oops…excuse me. WAIT! Here’s the proof.
Heidi has had 13…..I’ll spell that out for you, “thirteen” surgeries including boob enlargements and now….yes NOW, she wants to have them enlarged even more. Geez, what the hell is she trying to prove anyhow? That she can float on her back while crossing the English Channel?
I mean seriously, look at the photographs of Heidi. Can you see the difference between pre boob surgery and after boob surgery? And the after boob surgery appears to be just fine from my own perspective.
I managed to get a photograph of what her boobs might look like after her next surgery to enlarge her boobs even more, (photo above) and as you can see there wasn’t enough room in the studio for Heidi’s boobs and the camera. What’s it going to be like riding a bus with her, or trying to get some elbow room on a plane if she’s in the next seat. Will the airline stewardesses have to make note that there is an extra pair of floatation devices if anyone needs them because Heidi has her own?
I know, I can go on and on with this but I’m going to control myself. Maybeeeeeeeeeee not.
I can’t see the fascination with big boobs. I personally think small or medium boobs are just fine. Especially if you drive a compact car.
From a male pigs point of view, smaller boobs are sensual, do not flop all over the place, perhaps causing some sort of injury to the person sporting the boobs or an innocent bystander, and, on top of that, (as long as we’re speaking of tops) we all know from reading past blogs, that cleavage causes earthquakes. If Heidi succeeds in getting yet another surgery, earthquake insurance might be a good idea for those of you living anywhere near her.
On another note, with regard to my offer of advice in yesterday’s blog, I have a question submitted by “Odoriferous.” “I have a black and white skunk that has been hanging around my house, not the human kind. But recently it took my water hose and directed towards my neighbor’s house, which may cause quite a stink. What should I do?”
First of all you need to change your web name, “Odoriferous” because it WILL attract various skunks. Secondly try using a different deodorant other than essence of flowery fruit, because, as you may well be aware of, skunks are vegetarians. As for your neighbor and the stolen hose, obviously the skunk poses no “stink”problem to your neighbor’s home as I would assume that due to your “odor” problem the skunk has decided to bathe elsewhere until such time as you change deodorants.”
To Alexis in response to what it takes to write an advice column. Her response was. “It takes a false sense of righteousness.”
Dear Alexis: Ok, then I’m qualified. I have an overabundance of false cents which I try to use at various casinos in the slot machines…..un….WAIT! Oh you meant “sens
e.” Geez…(sigh)…no I don’t have any false sense of righteousness because I was married for so many years and was constantly told I was wrong all the time, so if I was wrong, I couldn’t possibly be right, therefore, no righteousness.
To Diana: Her question was, “When are you going to post a new photo”
Dear Diana: There are no new photos of MisfitWisdom, just very old photos. The photo you see posted on my daily blog was taken after many extensive surgeries, none of which were boob surgeries, and I am quite satisfied with the results. With the exception of the eyebrows. But hey, if it works for Sam Watterson and Andy Rooney….what the hell.
Keep em coming.
That’s all folks. I’m now off to watch top-heavy Heidi Montag, once she has her surgery and sports a 78DDD, try to take a sobriety test where the police have you walk a straight line to see if you’ve had too much to drink. Oops!
(Photos of Heidi courtesy of “OK Magazine.”)
Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV