Another Brave Sponsor Drops Tiger Woods......Because*.....read on

*BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO BALLS!!!

Yep, sponsors absolutely have no balls whatsoever.  I’m glad the next sponsor who decided that they did not want the terrible, awful, slime ball  SUV crasher golfer who has a lot of his own balls decided to drop him.  I’m referring to the latest sponsor who dropped Tiger…..namely Gatorade.  I’m glad because I get to write this blog about how sponsors are a bunch of silmeball spineless lower than scum of the earth money sucking a**holes. 

Now honestly……unless you’re one of those “politically correct” lizards that I’ve been writing about for months, do you give a rat’s ass about Tiger Woods personal life?  If you do, then please check into a reality check clinic very soon.

Now let’s look at this logically.  (the rest of you idiot’s who think using the word “retarded” in a sentence is an affront to Sarah Palins kid, Please!!!!!  PLEASE!!!! Leave the F*****G room.  NOW!

Ok, I have my composure back now.

(ever wonder why the pharmaceutical companies are raking in millions from people who are depressed and taking tranquilizers)

Now, logically, would any of you reading this actually stop buying Gatorade, using AT&T, buying Gillette products and never buy a watch from the Swiss watch maker Tag-Heuer in protest because they didn’t drop Tiger from their ads?  Yeah right!  If you’re one of the one’s who answered in the affirmative, please seek psychiatric help immediately.

You see folks, sponsors are not like ordinary people.  They’re not like you and I.  They have absolutely no clue as to how a normal everyday person thinks.  Well I’ll tell you, and the sponsors, if one of them happens to be reading this, exactly how most NORMAL everyday people think.

Lean closer to the screen.  No, closer.  Ok….just want to make sure you can all hear me.

WE DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT THE *F**K TIGER WOODS DID OTHER THAN IT WAS ENTERTAINING NEWS IN THE MEDIA, IT LIVENED UP OUR OTHERWISE BORING NEWS DAY, AND IT WAS COMFORTING TO DISCOVER THAT HE ACTUALLY IS HUMAN LIKE US, AFTER ALL, AND NOT JUST A CELEBRITY WHO “NEVER” HAS ANY PERSONAL PROBLEMS.  GILLETTE! DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK I’D STOP USING YOUR CUSTOM PIVOT PLUS RAZOR BECAUSE TIGER CHEATED ON HIS WIFE AND YOU FEATURED HIM IN YOUR ADS????????????????

Yeah right.  Like I’m going to switch razors because Gillette might have continued to use Tiger in their ads.  Or cancel my AT&T servicve too. I never liked Gatorade so that doesn’t affect me.  Nor does the Swiss watch company affect me because they probably charge a gazillion dollars for their watches when all I need is a damn Timex that I wouldn’t have to spend more than twenty bucks for. 

I said earlier that sponsors are spineless lizards.  There are a few exceptions with regard to Tiger Woods.  Most notably Nike and Electronic Arts Inc. who continue to support him. Bravo!

Do any of you actually think that this is all not just a bunch of BS? These sponsors are playing the holier than thou game and some of you buy it. I for one don’t.  Remember all the congressmen who rushed to impeach Clinton for his indiscretions.  Check your history folks and see if you can find just how many of those congressmen that pushed for his impeachment were themselves involved in a scandal later on down the road. 

It’s the old do as I say but not as I do. The pot calling the kettle black.  Hmmmmmmm, can I say that and not offend anyone?  Possibly the Pot & Kettle Manufacturers of America Association.

Ok, so Tiger cheated on his wife.  Ok, so some sponsors don’t want him to represent their products.  It’s their choice.  But I’ll bet ya even money when Tiger returns to the PGA circuit they’re gonna wish they hadn’t dropped him.  WHY!    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I know, I’m deviating from my usual humorous frame of mind writing this but I couldn’t help myself.  It kinda touched a nerve with me after all of the years of doing radio programs and program managers and sponsors stifling my humor.

In my autobiography I wrote about working at a station one Sunday afternoon and doing an interview with a topless donut shop in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.  It was a funny routine and of course, being on the RADIO you couldn’t SEE any topless waitresses.  But the next day a sponsor’s wife called the station to complain that, in “her” (one person with clout) opinion that should not have been on the radio.  I was fired the following week.  God forbid we should have humor on a Sunday and offend a sponsor’s wife.  OMG!  Obviously station management did not have balls enough to stand up for me.  WHY? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Ya see, it’s the GD almighty dollar that rules the world.  If there’s a buck to be made….how do ya make it…….how do you make yourself look good in the public’s eyes………and how do you do it so that you can reap in more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ regardless of  who you have to tell to bend over and get the hell out of Dodge City.  Like Tiger.

No, I’m not going to stop buying Gillette razors, I like them and they work for me.  Nor am I going to stop using AT&T because I like them too and their service.  I’m not happy about them taking their frustration out on Tiger for the sake of looking like they really care, and are concerned about what effect he will have on people which might reflect on their products.  But I’m not an idiot.  I know we all have failures in life, and like Tiger, we all regret some of our own indiscretions. But don’t you sponsors pass yourselves off as the Saint Teresa’s of advertising.

It is, it will always be, and until the end of time will be about the almighty $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!

That said, I now plan to review my shopping list for the items I no longer wish to purchase because something offends me about the product and or the celebrity that endorses that product. 

(does anybody really buy stuff because a celebrity endorses it?)

Ok, here we go. I’m never going to buy a Toyota because the Japanese were once at war with us; eat at a Korean or Vietnamese restaurant either because they were our enemies once; buy any product that sponsors Two and A Half Men on television because Charlie Sheen and his wife had problems; buy any Ivory Soap product because they once had Marilyn Chambers, a porn star, in their commercials; scratch off any product that A-Rod of the Yankees endorses; never visit South Carolina because the Governor, Mark Sanford,  is a dirtbag; and I’m never going to buy another newspaper or magazine because the print media are killing poor helpless defenseless trees.

So let’s see. Um, that leaves me with buying no name brand x products in the store and wiping my ass with a fig leaf.  I’m figuring that if this trend keeps up with celebrities being dropped by sponsors for their indiscretions they’ll have to resort to using regular everyday people once again in their commercials.

Remember them good old days?  Nobody gave a rat’s ass if the lady that said that famous line, “Where’s The Beef” did anything wrong.

Geesh!

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