When I made the decision to write a daily blog, I decided that I did not want to write anything serious. There were enough serious bloggers out there as it was. I also did not want to get into politics because you can never win writing anything about politics. If I were to write something about Democrats or Republicans, depending on the nature of the comments, I could be subjecting myself to the possibility of being tarred or feathered for my remarks. Depending of course on which party I wrote about. But lately it’s become increasingly hard not to see a certain amount of humor in what some politicians do or say. I mean, these are the people who are supposed to have superior intelligence, enough superior intelligence that we, the lowly peons of the earth, elect and send to powerful places like the State House, Washington, and um,…oh yeah, exotic places like the Caribbean, Norway, Hawaii and the Playboy Mansion. These places, of course, are necessary in the entire spectrum of governing our United States of America. Without these junkets and political ventures the entire democratic system as we know it would eventually collapse.
Now, that said, let’s go to the intelligent remark made today by South Carolina’s Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer. For those of you who may have missed the morning news because you couldn’t afford the morning newspaper, I shall enlighten you.
At a town meeting Thursday, Bauer was quoted a saying: “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals.” (so far so good here folks. Nothing wrong with your ol grandma telling you not to feed stray animals. Next thing you know you have all kinds of stray animals at your front doorstep begging for food. I can just about feed my cats without another stray animal hanging around.)
Now that would have been great if Bauer had simply left it at that and continued on with a story about how he ignored his grandmother, fed stray animals and decided that politics was not for him, so he was going to quit politics and open a fast food chain for stray animals, his lifelong dream, inspired, of course, by his grandmother.
But Nooooooooo. Out came the rest of his remarks. “You know why you should not feed the stray animals Little Andre?”
“No, why grandma?”
“Because they breed. You see Andre, you’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or (gasp) a “person” ample food supply. They will (gasp again) reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that.” (final gasp)
So little Andre went on in life to take his grandma’s advice, and I assume, never fed another stray animal.. Most likely he never even contributed to a local food shelter either, because, according to his take on his grandma’s advice, all dem dere people in the shelter, who, in Bauer’s own mind would be considered “STRAYS” would then go on to possibly reproduce. OH MY GAWD! (little slang there used for emphasizing the stupidity of his comments)
So, there you have it folks. Another politician that we sent to carry on the torch setting fire to himself. You just can’t make up this stuff.
This is from the same state, South Carolina, that gave us Mark Sanford. Remember him? Yep, the Governor of South Carolina who had a mistress, ran off to spend time with her, called her his “soul mate” and then when it finally hit the media, begged for forgiveness but still insisted that he had done nothing wrong and “STILL” told his wife that his lover was his soul mate! What the hell is going on down there in South Carolina? (up there for you folks living in Florida)
Just when I thought I could never, ever, in a gazillion years run for any political office, I’ve been proven wrong. I “AM” stupid enough to run for political office. I have all of the qualifications. I’ve said stupid things, I’ve been married and divorced TWICE, got fired from God knows how many jobs, and once for saying my name out loud, “DICK,” which was inerpreted as sexual harassment, and finally, I’m living in sin with a woman and we’re both SENIORS! Geez, what more do I need to do to qualify.
I’m seriously thinking of running for political office based solely on my ability to be stupid, say stupid things, and of course, having a number of women I called “soul mates” over the years.
Oh yeah, I’ve also decided to feed the poor at those local shelters. Geez, if Bauer’s granny was right, they’ll all reproduce eventually. When they do, they’ll all remember that I contributed to helping them reproduce and folks,……….that’s more votes for my political candidacy. Thank you Andre Bauer.